1
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,015
[Larry] <i>Who are you?</i>

2
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:19,393
I'm Leopold Bloom.
I'm an accountant.

3
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,688
I'm from Whitehall and Marks.

4
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,941
I've come here to do your books.

5
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:29,029
I've come here to do your books.

6
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,907
Oh, Mr. Bloom.
I've been expecting you.

7
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,034
No, I've come here to do your books.

8
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:38,080
- Oh...
- Oh. Oh...

9
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,206
- You...
- <i>You.</i>

10
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,083
- Have...
- Oh, you have...

11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,585
- Have you?
- Huh?

12
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,254
Oh, you have, huh?
Okay.

13
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,256
I had it yesterday.
I had the whole thing.

14
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,590
We went through the whole play.

15
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,967
I knew it backwards and forwards.

16
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,677
Why am I forgetting it all of a sudden?

17
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,886
Maybe I should go with you

18
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,888
and run lines with you on the plane.

19
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,515
Instead of going in two days,
I'll go today with you.

20
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,433
No, it's crazy.
It's crazy.

21
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,851
- Will you run lines?
- I'll be fine.

22
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:00,602
You stick to the plan.

23
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,187
You got the NRDC meeting tomorrow.

24
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,355
I want you to go to that.

25
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,773
The environment is a lot more important

26
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,941
than this show, and I
want you to do that.

27
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,609
- Thank you, though.
- Alright.

28
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:08,902
What do you think of my plane outfit?

29
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,487
Okay?
You like my plane outfit?

30
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,947
- It looks very comfortable.
- Huh? It's comfortable, right?

31
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:14,783
Who's gonna be on the plane with you?

32
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,953
Let's see. Jeff.
Uh, David Schwimmer.

33
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,123
Mm, Cady Huffman.

34
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,541
<i>Oh.</i>

35
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,294
Cady Huffman?

36
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,795
What? She plays Ulla in the show.

37
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,006
No, I know who she is.

38
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,174
This is how...
It's very obvious

39
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,634
why you don't want me to go.

40
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,303
What?
Are you nuts?

41
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,180
"And, uh, Cady Huffman."

42
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,016
- It's like...
- <i>What?</i>

43
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,642
Come on. She hates my guts.

44
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,352
I met her at Ben Stiller's
party. She couldn't stand me.

45
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,980
You better work fast, my friend.

46
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,690
Yeah.

47
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,610
If you're gonna cash in on this,
uh, tenth anniversary gift

48
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,279
you have, what, three days left?

49
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,615
You have some work to do.

50
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,658
How's it going, by the way?

51
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,160
- Has it been going well?
- It's okay. It's...

52
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,537
You know, I haven't
really been pushing it.

53
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,705
New York's a big place.

54
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,207
This is a good opportunity for you.

55
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,043
Okay, don't worry about it, alright?

56
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,210
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay.

57
00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:09,796
- Oh.
- Oh.

58
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,964
- That's it.
- Okay.

59
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,342
So, I'll be there opening night, okay?

60
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,052
The next time I'll see you
will be after the play

61
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,178
but I'll be there.

62
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,513
- Okay.
- Okay? So know that.

63
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,266
- I love you.
- I love you.

64
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,225
Bye.

65
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,813
Go get 'em.

66
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,325
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

67
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,702
No Cheryl?

68
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,373
No, she's got that, uh, NRDC meeting.

69
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,500
- Great.
- She's not coming till...

70
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,460
- You got three days, man.
- Yeah, nothing's--

71
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,961
- Three days.
- Nothing's...

72
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,463
You never know.

73
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,547
- Yeah.
- You never know.

74
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,091
Three more days.

75
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,133
Till we open too.
Isn't that amazing?

76
00:02:56,258 --> 00:02:57,594
- Amazing.
- It's the exact same day.

77
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:58,887
You're gonna be great.

78
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,639
Listen, uh, Cady, uh went
to go get some coffee.

79
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,891
Oh, she's here? Yeah?

80
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,851
She's here, and she
confided in me something.

81
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:05,936
- What, she hates my guts?
- No.

82
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,689
She has obsessive-compulsive disorder.

83
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:09,690
- Yeah.
- Really?

84
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,566
- Yeah.
- Cady has OCD?

85
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:16,071
I-I-I told her that you have it too.

86
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,450
What the...
Are you nuts?

87
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,452
- What's the matter with you?
- No, come on. That's funny.

88
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,329
- That's funny?
- That's really funny.

89
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,747
She was so excited.

90
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,207
- How stupid.
- It was not stupid.

91
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,959
Just a stupid joke to play on somebody.

92
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,044
- Take advantage of--
- Hey, Larry!

93
00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:35,924
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Hi, hi, hi. Oh.

94
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,552
Mmm.

95
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,804
Hey, where is the, uh, coffee place?

96
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,598
Uh,123 steps that way.

97
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,350
123 steps I'll be taking.

98
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,102
- I'll see you in a few minutes.
- Okay.

99
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:53,442
Uh, Jeff told me something about you.

100
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,569
Really?

101
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,529
That you have OCD.

102
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,284
Oh, it's okay, 'cause I'm...
It's... I have it too.

103
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:05,954
Isn't that kind of great, though?

104
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,748
- I mean--
- That's unbelievable!

105
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,625
I'd give you five but I don't
want to touch your hand.

106
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,128
- I'd have to wash it.
- Yeah, me too.

107
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,629
It's just exhausting, isn't it?

108
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,214
- Ugh.
- The counting. The cleaning.

109
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,092
Planes can drive me crazy.
They can really drive me crazy.

110
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,344
That whole one bag is devoted to soap.

111
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,681
Oh, here's David.

112
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,141
- <i>Hey, David.</i>
- Hey.

113
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,019
- Sorry.
- How's it going?

114
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,103
- Good, how you doing?
- Good, good.

115
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,313
I'm gonna hit the lounge.

116
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,398
What is that, the Admirals Club?

117
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,484
Yeah.

118
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,486
- See you, Cady.
- Okay.

119
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,571
I'll see you on the plane.

120
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,659
- Well, I'm all checked in, uh--
- Okay.

121
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,620
- Should I wait for you?
- Sure. Yeah.

122
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,413
- Okay, good.
- Okay.

123
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,254
<i>Flight attendants,
please prepare for departure.</i>

124
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,967
- Hey.
- Huh?

125
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,803
Thanks for that OCD story.

126
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,680
- We're really bonding.
- Really?

127
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,099
I mean she looks at me like
I'm a different person now.

128
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,851
- Wow.
- I can't believe it.

129
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,562
- It's amazing.
- Really? Good.

130
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,610
Don't you have anything...
Do you have anything to read?

131
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,363
Mm, just sit here.

132
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,490
You don't have a magazine
or a book? Nothing?

133
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,076
No, I just sit.

134
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,869
How come you didn't bring
a book or a magazine?

135
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,955
I don't need one.
I like just sitting.

136
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,998
Who could sit on a plane
for five hours like that?

137
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,666
- It's crazy.
- I can.

138
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,007
[David] <i>Excuse me.</i>

139
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,103
Um, uh, sir, could you
please put your seat

140
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,313
in the fully upright position, please?

141
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,151
- Let me ask you a question.
- Yes?

142
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,486
Did he tell you to say that?

143
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,697
{\an8}- Did who tell me what?
- That guy right there.

144
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,490
<i>Did he tell you the seat wasn't upright?</i>

145
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,533
I don't know what you're talking about

146
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,701
but we're trying to take off

147
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:08,994
so I'm gonna need...

148
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:09,952
I saw him talking to you up there.

149
00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:10,996
Did he tell you my seat--

150
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,497
Sir, let me tell you what I need.

151
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,583
I need you to be quiet and in this seat

152
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,126
with the seat fully up.

153
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,544
- Okay.
- That's what I require, okay?

154
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,129
Okay, but I saw him talk--

155
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,755
Did you hear what I require?

156
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,049
- Yes, ma'am.
- That's all I require.

157
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,426
"Yes, ma'am."
That's very good.

158
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,635
- You're learning quick.
- But-but wait a second.

159
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,262
Excuse me?

160
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,848
Would you mind telling me what
he said to you up there?

161
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,310
I mean,
I saw him whisper to you.

162
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,978
Sir, I'm trying to get to New York.

163
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,438
- Do you want to go with me?
- Yes, I do, ma'am.

164
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,814
Then we can't talk any longer.

165
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,107
- I got stuff to do.
- Okay.

166
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,065
- Okay?
- Okay.

167
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,526
Alright.

168
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,118
Hey, Schwimmer.

169
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,746
Did you tell the stewardess

170
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,332
my seat wasn't in the upright position?

171
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:58,627
No.

172
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,546
Hmm. Interesting.

173
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,380
{\an8}Yeah?

174
00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:05,425
What were you talking to her about?

175
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,095
- That's my business.
- Just give me a snippet.

176
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,932
No, the discussion
I had is privileged.

177
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,184
Can you give me a hint?
What's the area?

178
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,608
What could you be talking
to a stewardess about?

179
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,861
Did you allude to me?

180
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,682
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
the captain has turned on</i>

181
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,475
<i>the "Fasten seat belt" sign.</i>

182
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,851
<i>If you're up and about the cabin</i>

183
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:57,811
<i>please return to your seats</i>

184
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:58,937
<i>and make sure your seatbelts</i>

185
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,146
<i>are securely fastened.</i>

186
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,856
<i>Thank you.</i>

187
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,127
Welcome to the Regency.

188
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,878
- Welcome.
- Thanks.

189
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,590
Welcome.

190
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:30,343
- Hi, how you doing?
- Good.

191
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,138
Okay. Alright.

192
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,809
Ah.

193
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:43,023
You know what?
Don't have any small bills.

194
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,817
- I'll get you later.
- Okay.

195
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,736
I detect a little skepticism there.

196
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,112
- Um, it's okay.
- No, no, no.

197
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,864
- What-what's your name? Tim?
- Tim.

198
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,615
- Okay. You're working today?
- Yes.

199
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:53,950
Alright.
I'm all over this.

200
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,910
Alright?
You'll see. I'll be back.

201
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,167
Sir, the, uh, bellman will bring up

202
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,877
your luggage after you check in.

203
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,211
Oh, okay.

204
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,255
Um...

205
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,924
I only have, uh, big bills.

206
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,593
I'll get you later.

207
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,386
Sir, whatever, whatever pleases you.

208
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,596
- Okay.
- That's fine with me.

209
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,973
Do I detect any doubt there?
'Cause I... Huh?

210
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,266
- You'll get it.
- No, not from me.

211
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,851
I trust you.
I trust you, sir.

212
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,144
- You know what? Here.
- Yeah.

213
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,937
This is a better idea.

214
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:23,813
Here's 20.

215
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,399
Okay, thank you very much, sir.

216
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,943
Split it with Tim.
You know Tim outside?

217
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,279
- Split it with Tim?
- Yeah, give Tim 10.

218
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,322
Absolutely.
Thank you so much.

219
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,323
Okay, very good.

220
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,658
Thanks a lot. Thanks.

221
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,243
Uh, if you're hungry later this evening

222
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,287
there's a lovely restaurant in
the lobby called the Library.

223
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,330
I highly recommend it.

224
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,623
- Okay.
- Very good food.

225
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,792
Uh, this is your key.
Access to your room.

226
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,044
It's a card.
This is the card slot.

227
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,630
Uh, simply insert the
card into the slot.

228
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,131
There's a beeping.
Wait a second.

229
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:54,344
Firmly apply pressure, and in you go.

230
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,386
That's fascinating.

231
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,181
Uh, some of the amenities, quickly.

232
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,934
Uh, you have a telephone.
Dial nine to get out.

233
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,770
- Uh, there's a television here.
- Okay, got that.

234
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,687
Just open these.

235
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,106
And you have a remote control

236
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,398
for, uh, power on and off.

237
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,067
- On and off. Copy that.
- Channel up and down.

238
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,485
Volume up and down.

239
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,487
- A minibar also, underneath.
- Got it. Got it.

240
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,990
Um, thermostat for air
temperature control.

241
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,450
[Larry] <i>Yeah, I've seen those.</i>

242
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,577
Uh, bathroom, uh, with shower.

243
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,413
Turn on the water, you go
like that with your wrist

244
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,040
and the water comes out?

245
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,917
- Y-yes, yes.
- You turn on the water. Okay.

246
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,545
- Uh, the cold is on the right.
- Uh-huh. Okay.

247
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,296
- And that's a window?
- <i>Yes.</i>

248
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,716
You walk over to it,
and-and you can look out.

249
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,343
- Is that what it's for?
- Yes.

250
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,719
It's basically, that's
what it's for, right?

251
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,513
- Basically, yes.
- Alright, excellent.

252
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,889
Excellent.
I think I got everything.

253
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,434
I think the floor is for standing.

254
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,688
I think I got it.
Kind of complicated.

255
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,064
I'll go over it again.
Okay, thank you.

256
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,732
Okay, you're welcome.
You're very welcome.

257
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,192
Alright.

258
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,364
I don't have anything for you right now.

259
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,366
I only got, like, 20s.

260
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,201
Sorry.
I'll get you tomorrow.

261
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,578
Don't be dubious.
Don't be dubious.

262
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,828
- No, no.
- You're dubious.

263
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,497
I'm gonna get you tomorrow.
Don't...

264
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,916
Thank you very much.
Thank you.

265
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,585
- Yeah.
- I'll see you outside.

266
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,170
- Um...
- Seriously, I will.

267
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,754
- There's no problem.
- Okay.

268
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,256
I'm not gonna give you a 20.
That's nuts.

269
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,466
That's nutsy, right?
Come on.

270
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,136
Sure, it's very nuts.
It's crazy.

271
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,345
<i>Have a pleasant evening.</i>

272
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,929
I'm supposed to give you a 20?

273
00:11:21,054 --> 00:11:22,265
Guy will wind up with more money than me

274
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,224
if everybody gave him a 20.

275
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,395
- Hello? Hey.
- Hey.

276
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,938
Let's go down and get a drink.
Come on.

277
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,398
Uh, I don't know.
I just got here.

278
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,442
Who wants to sit in the room?
Let's go down. Come on.

279
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,485
I kind of got to go study
my lines, I think.

280
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,070
[Jeff] <i>Study your lines?</i>

281
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,488
Come on. You got, like, two days left

282
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,324
until the anniversary gift expires.

283
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,659
I got two days until I open on Broadway.

284
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,494
You know your lines.
You're gonna be great.

285
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,663
It's gonna be wonderful.
Don't worry about it.

286
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,333
<i>Now you need to go down
and meet some gals.</i>

287
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,668
<i>Can't let this run out, my friend.</i>

288
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,337
Alright.
Give me a half hour.

289
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,088
<i>Alright. Half hour.
I'll see you down there.</i>

290
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,100
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.

291
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,477
- Hello.
- I'm being very witty.

292
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,937
- Oh, are you?
- Yeah.

293
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,397
- As is your won't.
- As is my won't.

294
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:12,815
Larry David,
I'm sorry, your name again?

295
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,107
- Christina.
- Christina.

296
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,611
- Hello.
- Hi.

297
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,780
How do you two know each other?

298
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,030
We are business associates, and, uh--

299
00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:21,824
Yes, yes.
We're in business together.

300
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,618
What kind of business
are you in together?

301
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,494
- Grooming.
- Groo--

302
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,246
- Pet grooming.
- Pet grooming?

303
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,164
- Really? Wow.
- Pet grooming.

304
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,958
Yeah, we have a truck,
and we shampoo dogs.

305
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,668
We have a staff that does it. We
sit in the front of the truck.

306
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:32,710
Do you have a dog?

307
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,379
We groom sometimes with scissors.

308
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,256
- The nails and things?
- Horses. Cats.

309
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,549
- Any animal. Bobcats.
- What do you really do?

310
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,384
Come on.

311
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,761
He is about to star

312
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,136
in Broadway, on Broadway.

313
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,389
- What, really?
- In "The Producers."

314
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,015
- Ah.
- In "The Producers"?

315
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,850
Max Bialystock.

316
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,477
- You're kidding.
- No.

317
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,020
Why are you making that face?

318
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,939
'Cause I have a tic.
I'm going on stage with a tic.

319
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:56,317
You don't have a tic.
I didn't see the tic before.

320
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,694
Come on.

321
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,238
And it's, you know, it
could throw off the show.

322
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,699
[Jeff] Ask her what she does.

323
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,617
What do you do?

324
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,578
I'm a fellatio teacher.

325
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,621
- Good. Very good.
- Okay, now if--

326
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:09,956
Now let's be honest here.

327
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,582
If I had made it up,
would I have said...

328
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,251
- "Ask what she does?"
- I know that you made it up.

329
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,003
- No, it's not like--
- No, I didn't make it up. No.

330
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,462
How much money did he
give you to say that?

331
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,172
- No, I wouldn't have said--
- No, it's absolutely true.

332
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,716
[Jeff] I wouldn't have
set it up that way.

333
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:20,925
I'd let you find out on your own.

334
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,177
- Oh, sure. Yeah.
- I am a fellatio teacher.

335
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,096
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

336
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,723
- That's what you do?
- Yes.

337
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,183
- You have classes and--
- I'm an expert.

338
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,144
I don't know how anybody could
do that without a blindfold on.

339
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,687
Oh, that's crazy.

340
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:33,938
It's a grotesque monster, that penis.

341
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,440
No, no, it is not grotesque.
Don't even say that.

342
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,025
- Yes.
- No. It's beautiful.

343
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,194
And it's sad if somebody doesn't
get to experience it, yeah.

344
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,405
Oh, dear God.

345
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,577
Alright.
A little Mexicali.

346
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,038
Do you like spicy food?

347
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,497
I love spicy food.

348
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,543
- I, I love spicy food.
- I love spicy food.

349
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,046
Did you know

350
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:03,092
that spicy food makes a
man's cum taste delicious?

351
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,261
- I did not know that.
- <i>It does.</i>

352
00:14:06,386 --> 00:14:08,097
- I did not know that.
- <i>It's true.</i>

353
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:12,268
Little Johnny did not know that.

354
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,062
Delicious. Oh-ho.

355
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,398
So, I started teaching classes, and--

356
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,027
- Uh-huh.
- I wrote a book.

357
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,487
I started realizing that
women were just so...

358
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,282
Sort of timid about the
whole thing, and I--

359
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,077
You okay?

360
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,788
Just the way I like it.

361
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,915
Hmm.

362
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,000
What's your favorite part
of getting a blow job?

363
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,169
Oh.

364
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,633
[Christina] Oof. I don't...

365
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,806
You've got some napkin
on your head still.

366
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,894
- Are you drinking that water?
- You know what?

367
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,146
That's my, that's my water.
That's my...

368
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,610
People are eating.

369
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,530
Yeah, it went down the wrong pipe.

370
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,324
How's the food?

371
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,870
Where do you live?

372
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:13,913
Live in the city?

373
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,957
Are you using that napkin?

374
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,001
- I think I'm gonna go.
- What?

375
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,170
Yeah, I just...
I don't feel hungry anymore.

376
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,463
What, really?

377
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,006
I'm feeling a little sick, actually.

378
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,805
Where you going?

379
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,689
You'll never regret this.
Thank you.

380
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,816
Thank you, Herr Liebkind.

381
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:00,293
That's all I'm talking about.

382
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,420
- Hey, hey, what's up?
- What's going on?

383
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,508
How much longer do you think
this is gonna go on for?

384
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,012
Um, I can't say, really.

385
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,265
You know we open in two days.

386
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,267
You should maybe get some sleep.

387
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,937
You want to be refreshed, don't you?

388
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,522
Yes.

389
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,108
Mm. Dude, have you seen my watch?

390
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,027
I lost my watch,
I think, at rehearsal.

391
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,696
It's a black TAG with,
uh, three silver things

392
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,406
like three, uh, dials on it.

393
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,826
- Is that Jennifer Aniston?
- Seriously, have you seen it?

394
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,286
- Huh?
- No.

395
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,038
I don't know what...
I didn't see any watch, no.

396
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,789
Hey, you guys made it!

397
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,000
Hey, come on in. Hey.
It's alright. Go ahead.

398
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,251
There's sushi on its way, alright?

399
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,669
<i>David, who are you talking to?</i>

400
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,963
Good deal. Nobody.

401
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,465
Okay. Hold on.
Hold on.

402
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,051
Um, I'll see you at the
meeting tomorrow?

403
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,011
Yeah? Get some sleep, dude.

404
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,222
Seriously, you look a little...

405
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,688
[Larry] <i>How's it coming?</i>

406
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:03,856
- Almost done, sir.
- Yeah?

407
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,066
Yeah.

408
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,734
Freezing in here last night.

409
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,653
I could not turn down
that air conditioning.

410
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,112
Yeah, sometimes, you know, they just...

411
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,280
You've got to get in there and fix it

412
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,949
and it'll work again, you know?

413
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,367
- You're a pretty smart guy.
- <i>Oh, thank you very much.</i>

414
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,618
I could never do that in a zillion...

415
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,161
I could study for the rest of my life

416
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,121
every day, eight hours a day.
I could never do that.

417
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,455
Yeah, for the rest of my life.

418
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,625
- I'm not even kidding.
- <i>Maybe. I don't know.</i>

419
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,461
- Ah.
- Good morning.

420
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,381
Good morning.

421
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,757
Beautiful.
Beautiful.

422
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,093
- There you go, sir.
- Thank you.

423
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,597
$53?

424
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:37,598
It's breakfast.

425
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,267
Yeah,
I don't set the prices, sir.

426
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,602
- Eggs. Pancakes.
- Yeah.

427
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,479
Juice. Coffee.
$53?

428
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,107
Mm-hmm.
It's a nice breakfast, yeah.

429
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,526
- Tip is included?
- Yeah.

430
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:49,609
Yeah,18 percent.
You just need to sign.

431
00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:50,987
18 percent.

432
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,738
Do people generally give you more

433
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,323
on the, uh, extra bonus tipping?

434
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,782
Yeah, sometimes.

435
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:56,993
- They do?
- Yeah.

436
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,536
Well,
I'll give you another 2 percent.

437
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,955
<i>Okay, well, thank you very much.</i>

438
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,540
Alright?
Thank you very much.

439
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,666
Thank you.
You have a nice day.

440
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,917
Okay, you too.

441
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,128
Pardon me.

442
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,046
- Hey, Andy!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

443
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,882
How are you,
Mr. Ethel Merman?

444
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,927
- Look who's here.
- Look at you. Wow.

445
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,345
Ah, see, I called you.
Are you happy?

446
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,306
You called, and here I am.

447
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,017
- Are you coming tomorrow night?
- Yeah, of course I'm coming.

448
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,476
Okay, I got one ticket for you.

449
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,729
Okay, how-how are you
gonna get it to me?

450
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,314
I'll leave it at "Will call."

451
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,565
Oh, no, it's packed there

452
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,025
especially opening night.

453
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,568
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
I'll go there. Okay.

454
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:31,944
I'll get there early.
I'll be fine.

455
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,156
So, how is play practice?
How's it going?

456
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,325
- Rehearsal. Rehearsal, yeah.
- I call it play practice.

457
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,492
When I was doing "Pippin"

458
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,369
we stayed after school
for play practice.

459
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,121
But how is it?

460
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,248
I don't see you doing it at all

461
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,000
but you'll be great.

462
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,502
- You'll be wonderful.
- Yeah, thanks.

463
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,254
I didn't know you sang and you danced.

464
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,422
I really don't.
You know...

465
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,757
- Wow.
- I don't know.

466
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,215
- Oh, look.
- Mel Brooks liked me, and...

467
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,343
Really?

468
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,345
Oh, my gosh.
You're a star.

469
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,596
- You're gonna be a star.
- Oh, stop it.

470
00:18:58,721 --> 00:18:59,888
No.
So, what are you doing?

471
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,307
You want to take a ride
out to Westchester?

472
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,434
Maybe go look at some open houses?

473
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,395
- You're buying a house?
- No, no, no. Open houses.

474
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,980
You just go.
You visit, you know?

475
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,148
You just go in.
You tour around.

476
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,273
You say, oh, you know

477
00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:11,859
pretend you're buying, but you don't.

478
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,528
Just go drive around to homes?

479
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,155
If you're not buying
them, what's the point?

480
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,573
Just to look at the homes?

481
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,909
Yes! Oh, it's beautiful.
I mean, you can look all around.

482
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,744
You know what?
I can't do it today anyway.

483
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,037
I got-I got to study my lines.

484
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,122
- I-I can't do it.
- Okay.

485
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,374
Alright, sir.
We're all done.

486
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,000
- Alright.
- Yeah.

487
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,377
Excellent job.
Thank you.

488
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,213
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you very much.

489
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,215
Thank you.
No problem. Okay.

490
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,801
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

491
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,888
- Good-bye.
- Bye-bye.

492
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,263
Bye-bye.

493
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,850
Hey, was I supposed to tip that guy?

494
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,394
- The guy fixing that?
- Yeah.

495
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,605
Uh-huh. Not-not a lot,
but you got to tip him.

496
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,983
Why do I have to tip him?
I mean, he's just a...

497
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,902
He came in and fixed something.
He's--

498
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:55,861
That's right, he performed a service

499
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,405
and you tip him for a service.

500
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,739
Of course you do.

501
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:02,868
This whole tipping thing
is just so confusing.

502
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,371
Good morning, Mr. David.
Is this a good time to clean up?

503
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,330
Okay. Come on in.

504
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,254
Hey, let me ask you a question.

505
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,923
Did you find that watch on
your cart, by any chance?

506
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,465
Yes.

507
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:18,884
- Really?
- Yeah.

508
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,219
I know whose watch that is.

509
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,268
<i>Schwimmer, hey,
I hope you get this message.</i>

510
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,729
I found your watch.

511
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,981
You can thank me at the meeting.

512
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,898
Alright. Good-bye.

513
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,990
Hey.

514
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:42,116
Remember me from yesterday?

515
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,076
Yeah, yeah. Sure.

516
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,954
Everything okay?
It's all straightened out?

517
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,748
Straightened out what?

518
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:49,832
I gave the other doorman

519
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,751
the heavy-set guy with the glasses...

520
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,042
- Yeah.
- I gave him $20.

521
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:53,878
I told him to give you 10.

522
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,254
You didn't get the $10?

523
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,299
- No.
- What?

524
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,467
How you doing?
How you doing?

525
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,302
Take care.

526
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,096
- He didn't give you any money?
- No. Not a dime.

527
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:09,435
You sure he didn't give you anything?

528
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,604
Yeah, I'm sure.

529
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:15,983
In other words, he's got the $10 now

530
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,651
and he chose not to give it to you?

531
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,153
Is that what you're saying?

532
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,696
No, that's what you're saying.

533
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,449
I'm saying
I didn't get $10 from him.

534
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:27,494
Mm. Hmm.

535
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:41,926
Okay.

536
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,135
Alright.

537
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,678
Fine.

538
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,180
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

539
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,598
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

540
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:48,766
This means a lot.

541
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:51,310
Tell you,
Sanjay over there

542
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,395
<i>was a little upset this morning.</i>

543
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,273
You didn't... You know, you
didn't take care of him.

544
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,108
Take care of him?
He's a repairman.

545
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,361
Well, yeah, but, you know, he
helped you out and you didn't--

546
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,821
He helped me out?
He works for the hotel.

547
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,405
My air-conditioning
wasn't-wasn't working.

548
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,241
I didn't have a good night's sleep.

549
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:06,617
What am I supposed to do?

550
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:09,244
Just maybe wanted a little something.

551
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,247
Can you have any kind of
conversation with you people

552
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,874
without it ending up with
a financial exchange?

553
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,961
Well, yes, but, you know, like I said--

554
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,587
Alright.

555
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,424
Excuse me.

556
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,218
Oh. Hello, sir.

557
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,636
I was talking to Tim over there.

558
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,638
He says you were a little
upset this morning

559
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,641
that you didn't get some
kind of, uh, gratuity.

560
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,309
A little perturbed, yeah.
A little, yeah.

561
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,144
- Really?
- Yeah. Sure, yeah.

562
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,896
That's your job, San ji.

563
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,273
You know, it's just like,
"Hey, I appreciate this."

564
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,108
You know, common courtesy sometimes.

565
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,109
You just... "Hey, thank you."

566
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,609
Common courtesy? Really?

567
00:22:41,734 --> 00:22:42,695
You know,
I put in the time

568
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,071
you know, fixed the air for you.

569
00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:46,907
Well, I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do for you.

570
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,367
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay?

571
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:49,410
You know the show "The Producers"?

572
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:50,494
Sure, yeah, yeah.
Big, big show.

573
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:51,537
Okay. I'm in the show.

574
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:52,788
I'm gonna get some tickets today

575
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,415
and I'll give you a
ticket, how about that?

576
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,584
- Yeah, I'll take a ticket.
- So we're square, right?

577
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,502
Yeah, we are.
That's good karma for you.

578
00:22:58,627 --> 00:22:59,879
- Alright, San ji.
- Hey, that's good.

579
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,006
- Sanjay.
- Okay. Sanjay.

580
00:23:02,131 --> 00:23:03,549
Thank you.

581
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:14,226
- Excuse me. Hey.
- Excuse us.

582
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,477
Could I ask you a favor?

583
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,271
Would you please take our photograph?

584
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,689
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

585
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,232
I'm not really very good at this stuff.

586
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:21,483
- Here we go.
- It's no big deal.

587
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:22,609
It's just a point-and-click.

588
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,153
- Alright.
- But you got to turn it around.

589
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:26,864
- Oh. Okay.
- Thank you.

590
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,907
But, uh, do it horizontally.

591
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:30,659
Okay, you know what?

592
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:33,494
It actually works a lot better like this

593
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,247
'cause I get all the background.

594
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,791
I see the buildings.
I see the signs.

595
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,251
Okay, but just take it horizontally

596
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,711
and if I want it vertical,
I'll Photoshop it

597
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,087
and this way,
I have the option.

598
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,589
- So just do it horizontally.
- Alright.

599
00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:45,132
I mean, if you saw what I
see, you would definitely--

600
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,383
I got it up here.
Just take it horizontally.

601
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:47,760
Well, honey, maybe he's right.

602
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:48,928
You get the whole city feel.

603
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:50,095
Yeah,
I see the whole background.

604
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,013
Don't do this, okay?

605
00:23:52,138 --> 00:23:52,973
<i>John, I was just--</i>

606
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,808
You are constantly undermining

607
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:55,809
every decision I've made on this trip.

608
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,353
Okay, sir, you know what?

609
00:23:57,478 --> 00:23:59,813
There's not a single thing
I can do to please you

610
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,565
since we got off the goddamn airplane!

611
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,400
Why don't you guys work this out, okay?

612
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,195
- Seriously.
- Oh, so no photo?

613
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,155
So you're out?
That's it?

614
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,490
- <i>Oh, my God.</i>
- Yeah, I'm out. I'm out.

615
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,282
- Okay. Thanks.
- Excuse me, is that you?

616
00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:12,701
- That's the actor in the show.
- Yeah.

617
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:13,786
We just picked up our tickets.

618
00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,412
We're seeing you, the show...

619
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,289
Oh, you're in the show tomorrow night?

620
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:18,666
Great.
Oh, I can't wait!

621
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,834
Because you

622
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,172
will fail!

623
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,810
- Where's Max Bialystock?
- Absolutely. Absolutely.

624
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,019
And you take him into confidence here...

625
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,436
He'll be here.
He'll be here.

626
00:24:40,561 --> 00:24:42,022
- <i>Mel, I really--</i>
- Hello.

627
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,025
- Hello, Larry.
- Hey, how are you?

628
00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:47,152
♪ Larry David ♪

629
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:49,530
♪ And you're dangerously
near me ♪

630
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,073
♪ It's Larry David ♪♪

631
00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,907
I'm so glad you're here.

632
00:24:53,032 --> 00:24:54,451
- Hey, Norm. Susie.
- Hey, Larry.

633
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:55,911
How're you doing today?

634
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:57,454
Susan Stroman's the best director.

635
00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,373
I don't... You're so lucky you got her.

636
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,499
- Oh, yes.
- <i>Look!</i>

637
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:02,084
I got the lenses put in my Max glasses.

638
00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:03,460
- Check it out.
- <i>Great. Great.</i>

639
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,087
[Susan] Oh, it's great.

640
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,214
- You love that?
- Absolutely.

641
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,882
- <i>My father wears these.</i>
- <i>I love them. I love them.</i>

642
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,968
Good. Okay.
You think they work.

643
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,261
Well, okay.

644
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:13,595
I got your message, by the way.

645
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,472
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

646
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:16,682
My watch.
He found my watch.

647
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,434
- <i>Oh!</i>
- <i>Fantastic.</i>

648
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,893
[David] <i>I lost it yesterday sometime.</i>

649
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:22,938
- <i>Anyway, thank you so much.</i>
- <i>That's great.</i>

650
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,356
- <i>Oh, do you have it now?</i>
- <i>That's fantastic.</i>

651
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:25,941
- <i>That's a relief.</i>
- <i>I know.</i>

652
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,734
[Susan] <i>All during rehearsal,
he was going like this</i>

653
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,403
<i>"Where's my watch?
Where's my watch?"</i>

654
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:30,404
Did you leave it at the hotel?

655
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,781
[Larry] What the hell is going on here?

656
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,241
Are you kidding, or you really found it?

657
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,492
No, I found it, and I

658
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:36,785
and I had it in my pocket.

659
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:39,705
- This is--
- <i>Did you look, maybe...</i>

660
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:41,330
Remember putting it in
your pockets or...

661
00:25:41,457 --> 00:25:43,083
I put it in this jacket pocket.

662
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:46,587
- That jacket?
- What, you lost the watch?

663
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:49,673
Oh, gee,
I guess I lost the watch.

664
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,885
- I-I'm sorry.
- You lo...

665
00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:54,178
[Norm] <i>So maybe it's in the cab.</i>

666
00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:56,013
It could drop out of the pocket.

667
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:57,638
Well, if that happened, then...

668
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,141
[Mel] <i>Did you take your
jacket off in the cab?</i>

669
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,267
No.

670
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,685
I'm just trying to comprehend this.

671
00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:04,354
You-you lost my watch that you had

672
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,232
less than an hour ago in
your hands, correct?

673
00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,443
Yeah. Sorry.

674
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,821
- Well, you owe me a watch.
- What are you, nuts?

675
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,157
You didn't even have a
watch to begin with

676
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,407
<i>so you're in the same position you were</i>

677
00:26:16,532 --> 00:26:18,077
and there's no change.

678
00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,369
It's a little different.
You had my watch.

679
00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:20,537
You had possession of my
watch, and now you don't.

680
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:21,789
- A lost watch.
- He's right.

681
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:25,167
The watch was lost, so it
continues to be lost.

682
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:28,295
- What can I say? I'm--
- You can say-you can say...

683
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,464
"I'm sorry, and I'll
buy you a new watch."

684
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,215
- Buy you a new watch?
- Yeah.

685
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,092
[Mel] <i>There was no, there was no...</i>

686
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,551
It was a lost watch.

687
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:35,636
You didn't have the watch, right?

688
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:37,054
Absolutely. No.

689
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:39,473
He found the watch, so he had the watch.

690
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:40,808
- Yes.
- The watch was there.

691
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,226
- He had it.
- David lost the watch.

692
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:43,435
<i>David lost the watch.</i>

693
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:44,645
- Yes.
- <i>Who found the watch?</i>

694
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:45,813
Why is David this upset now?

695
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:47,189
He's upset...

696
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,066
I don't know why
David's this upset now.

697
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:50,400
Because it's not your watch.

698
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,945
He did not intentionally lose it!

699
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:54,404
Well, no, 'cause he lost it first.

700
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,990
- Maybe he should--
- Possession is 9/10--

701
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,325
if the watch had never been lost--

702
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,077
Hey hey, hey.
Alright. Alright. Alright.

703
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,037
- Alright. We must go on here.
- Forget about it.

704
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,288
We have a show to do.

705
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:05,749
Max and Leo have got to get along.

706
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:06,834
The whole point of the show

707
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:09,002
is that Max and Leo love each other.

708
00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:11,421
That's the success of this musical

709
00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:12,714
<i>is that journey</i>

710
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,342
<i>that you not only become
successful producers</i>

711
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,177
<i>you become wonderful friends.</i>

712
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,555
<i>Now, we can't let what has happened here</i>

713
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,848
<i>come into this show.</i>

714
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:22,224
- <i>She's right.</i>
- Don't have to worry about me.

715
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,143
- Alright?
- What are you doing?

716
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:25,144
I'm just arranging some--

717
00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:26,186
It looks like you're building

718
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:27,938
a sandcastle on the table.

719
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:29,565
[Norm] <i>Let's start to read.</i>

720
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:31,483
[Susan] <i>Now, uh, fellas.</i>

721
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,819
<i>The one thing I wanted to talk
about was that opening scene.</i>

722
00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,946
Oh, you know what? I just-I
just got to wash my hands.

723
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,364
I'll be right back.

724
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:41,368
[Susan] <i>I don't know.
We need to get started.</i>

725
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,828
- Have you noticed?
- <i>Let me say one thing.</i>

726
00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:44,371
Have you noticed him
doing stuff like this?

727
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,830
<i>I have noticed, and he's
washing his hands...</i>

728
00:27:45,955 --> 00:27:47,082
[Norm] <i>He's compulsive beyond belief.</i>

729
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,333
[Susan] <i>More and more.</i>

730
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,127
Some people get nervous.
They wash their hands.

731
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:51,628
It's a quirk.
It's a quirk.

732
00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:54,006
You know, people have quirks.

733
00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,840
[Larry] Okay.

734
00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:01,346
[Susan] <i>Alright. So, now,
about that first scene.</i>

735
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:04,600
<i>The thing is, you have to
drive that scene forward.</i>

736
00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:05,726
- <i>Larry?</i>
- Yeah.

737
00:28:05,851 --> 00:28:06,894
[Susan] <i>Yes so you've got</i>

738
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,436
<i>to pick up the cues.</i>

739
00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:10,814
<i>Alright, why don't we go to
page nine in the script?</i>

740
00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:13,108
<i>See if we can get started here.</i>

741
00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:17,821
You know, it's not like...

742
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:19,239
It's not like I lost
it on purpose, did I?

743
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,657
I know. He's, like, a
little crazy or something.

744
00:28:21,782 --> 00:28:24,286
Did I take his watch and throw
it in the river or something?

745
00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:26,330
I mean, of course
I wanted to keep the watch.

746
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:27,330
I was excited I got it for him.

747
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,332
I know. I didn't...

748
00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:29,708
I didn't understand that.

749
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:31,792
- That's so crazy.
- Oh, you know, so crazy.

750
00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:33,921
So crazy.

751
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:36,256
Larry!

752
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:37,590
Oh!

753
00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:30,018
♪ Opening night ♪

754
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:33,272
♪ It's opening night ♪

755
00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:06,179
I don't know what I was thinking about!

756
00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:07,639
I can't do this!
Nathan, I'm crazy!

757
00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:08,807
I can't! Why did I--

758
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,267
Stop it! Just stop it!

759
00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:11,518
I said stop it!

760
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,061
Now, stand up!

761
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:17,065
Take this, and go out there!

762
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:19,609
You can do it!

763
00:30:19,735 --> 00:30:21,862
Don't even look back!

764
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,364
Oy.

765
00:30:37,044 --> 00:30:39,796
- Hey.
- You want to go over there?

766
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,590
- What, to the theater?
- Yeah.

767
00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:44,885
Are you crazy? It's... We got,
like, an hour and a half.

768
00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:46,136
I thought I'd get there
a little earlier.

769
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,805
No, I'm gonna do some stretching.

770
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:52,267
- Alright.
- You do any kind of warm-up.

771
00:30:52,392 --> 00:30:54,394
Warm-up?

772
00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:55,562
Like what?
What do you mean?

773
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:56,897
Like stretching.

774
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,733
- Stretching?
- Never mind.

775
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:02,152
Hey what about, um...

776
00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:05,947
How do you feel about
reimbursing me for the watch?

777
00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:07,366
It seems to me your watch was missing.

778
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:08,742
I mean, we've gone over this

779
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:11,703
but if I didn't find your
watch in the first place

780
00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:12,913
then it's not mine to lose.

781
00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:15,916
Who had it last?

782
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,959
You're in the same position
now as when I started.

783
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:19,461
So why am I getting blamed for it?

784
00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:20,587
I just don't...
I mean, you had it.

785
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,464
- You lost your watch.
- Let's not get into it.

786
00:31:22,589 --> 00:31:23,632
- We have a show to do.
- Okay, fine. Alright.

787
00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:25,217
- Okay? Alright.
- Okay. Yeah.

788
00:31:25,342 --> 00:31:27,594
- By the way...
- Yeah?

789
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:28,804
You did tell the stewardess that my seat

790
00:31:28,929 --> 00:31:29,971
wasn't in the upright position, right?

791
00:31:30,097 --> 00:31:32,766
Okay.
I'll see you, okay?

792
00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:54,663
[Cady] Larry David. Hi!

793
00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:56,915
- I'm a nervous wreck.
- Oh, no. This'll be exciting.

794
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,417
- What did I do this for?
- You're gonna be great.

795
00:31:58,542 --> 00:31:59,751
I'm gonna destroy your entire show.

796
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:00,794
- Don't you understand?
- Oh, please, no.

797
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,045
You're doing a great job.

798
00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:03,630
The people, they're gonna love you.

799
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:04,923
You're gonna get out there and have...

800
00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,675
Why are they gonna love me?
People dislike me intensely.

801
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:07,968
'Cause you're great. Oh.

802
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:09,094
The audience is not gonna love me.

803
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:10,303
Yes, they are gonna love you.

804
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,347
Mel never would have
let you do the show.

805
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:13,890
What are you doing here so early?

806
00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:16,643
Oh, I have to get here
early every single night.

807
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,311
I do have rituals.

808
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,939
- Oh, you got some OCD stuff.
- Yeah, lots of 'em.

809
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:23,024
- Really? What do you got?
- Lots of 'em. Oh God.

810
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:24,943
Pacing.
Then I have petal counting.

811
00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,111
I think I'm gonna bang my
head against the wall

812
00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:27,237
maybe 50 times.

813
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:28,447
You don't want to do that,
Larry.

814
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:29,990
No, I do.
I'm gonna bang it against...

815
00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:30,907
Well, 'cause my mother
used to say that to me

816
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:32,159
when I was growing up.

817
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,660
You know, "Go bang your
head against the wall."

818
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,162
And I took it literally.
And I did.

819
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:36,329
I used to bang it against the wall.

820
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:37,622
I think that's why I got this condition

821
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:38,665
in the first place

822
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,500
'cause I would listen to my mother.

823
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:41,543
Thank you, by the way.

824
00:32:41,668 --> 00:32:42,919
That was so sweet of you

825
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,045
with the guy with the handbag.

826
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:45,088
That was dangerous.

827
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,756
That was really dangerous.

828
00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:48,550
- I didn't think so.
- Oh.

829
00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:50,385
- Honestly.
- No, you're so sweet.

830
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:53,054
You know, I didn't even
think twice about it.

831
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:55,724
Honest to God.
It was the right thing to do.

832
00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:58,268
Well, thanks.
That doesn't happen much.

833
00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,311
If I didn't go into show business

834
00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:02,731
I was-I was gonna become a fireman.

835
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,111
- Hmm.
- Alright.

836
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:10,989
I've been thinking about that

837
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:13,408
10th anniversary present of yours.

838
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:17,871
You want to come in?

839
00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:21,291
Sure.

840
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:24,544
Close the door.

841
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,933
- What is that? What is that?
- What?

842
00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,851
- What is that? What is that?
- What?

843
00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:42,229
- <i>What?</i>
- <i>Is that Bush?</i>

844
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,147
Yeah.

845
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:51,363
You got a picture of Bush
in your dressing room?

846
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:53,156
Yeah.

847
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:57,994
[Larry] Mm.

848
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:04,251
You're a Republican?

849
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:07,128
Yes, Larry.
I'm a Republican.

850
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:10,924
Ugh.

851
00:34:17,681 --> 00:34:19,724
[Jeff] <i>What the fuck were you thinking?</i>

852
00:34:19,849 --> 00:34:22,310
A picture of Bush?
Who gives a flying fuck?

853
00:34:22,435 --> 00:34:25,355
I'd fuck her with a Bush mask on!

854
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,773
You think these glasses are okay?

855
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,400
Did I...
I think I made a mistake.

856
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:30,485
I look like I'm about 85
years old in this costume.

857
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:31,777
I swear to God.
Look at me.

858
00:34:31,902 --> 00:34:33,196
No, you look great.

859
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:35,574
Who the hell's that?

860
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,284
Hello?

861
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:38,785
Andy, they're in the "Will..."

862
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,580
They're at the "Will call" window!

863
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:44,873
What? What are you talking?
Of course, I left them there!

864
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,376
Are-are you crazy?
I can't go.

865
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:49,129
I got my costume on.
I'm not gonna go out there.

866
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,256
Quiet down.
Alright.

867
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:53,633
I'll be there in a minute.

868
00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:55,385
Stupid cousin Andy, you know?

869
00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:58,054
The ticket, they don't have it
at the "Will call" window.

870
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,765
Shit. Do me a favor.
Help me with this, will you?

871
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,270
How did you get this on?
I can't even figure it out.

872
00:35:05,395 --> 00:35:07,105
- I know.
- Let me go down.

873
00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:08,106
- I'll go down.
- I can't.

874
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:09,733
I got to take care of this.

875
00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:19,826
- They don't have 'em.
- What?

876
00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:20,785
They don't have my tickets.
I asked.

877
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:21,911
Shh. Quiet down. Quiet down.

878
00:35:22,036 --> 00:35:23,163
Well, I-well, I told you.

879
00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,373
Why didn't you give them
to me at the hotel?

880
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:27,000
- Give them to me--
- Did you mention my name?

881
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,960
But how would I know to ask your name?

882
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:30,503
You said they'd be under my name.

883
00:35:30,629 --> 00:35:32,172
Honest to God.
This is...

884
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:33,882
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.

885
00:35:34,007 --> 00:35:34,924
- Hey, hey, hey.
- You got to get... What?

886
00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:36,343
Hey, there's a line here.

887
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,510
No, no I just, I just
need one-one ticket.

888
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:38,594
I know, but there's a line here.

889
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:40,180
- Go to the back of the line.
- No, no.

890
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,473
I'm in the show.
I'm Bialystock.

891
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:42,431
I don't care who you are.

892
00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:43,642
Go to the back of the line!

893
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:46,436
- Thank you.
- That is so rude.

894
00:35:48,855 --> 00:35:49,898
- Alright, here.
- Thank you.

895
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,190
Thank you very much. Okay.

896
00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:53,902
I'll see you after, okay?
We'll go for coffee.

897
00:35:55,195 --> 00:35:56,529
- Hey!
- Hello.

898
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,531
- Hey, thank you for the ticket.
- Ah, you're very welcome.

899
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:00,325
Very kind.
It has your name on it even.

900
00:36:00,450 --> 00:36:03,911
Larry David.
That's you, huh?

901
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:04,996
Oh, yeah.
Almost showtime, huh?

902
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,539
[Larry] Where'd you get that watch?

903
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,750
Oh, I found it.

904
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:09,876
Yeah, in the hotel, right?

905
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:11,002
Yeah, yeah.
I found it in the hotel.

906
00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:12,462
Yeah, okay. Alright.

907
00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:14,005
Okay, I'm-I'm sorry to tell you this

908
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,424
but that's
David Schwimmer's watch.

909
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:17,676
No no, I found it.
It's my watch.

910
00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:18,760
Yeah, no,
I know you found it.

911
00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:19,969
You found it in the hotel, right?

912
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:21,262
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah. Okay.

913
00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:22,764
- It belongs to David Schwimmer.
- No, no.

914
00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:24,181
- Finders keepers.
- Finders keepers?

915
00:36:24,306 --> 00:36:25,600
No, no, not finders keepers.
That's not right.

916
00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:27,227
- No, I found it.
- No, I know you did.

917
00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:28,395
- But it's not your watch.
- It's finders keepers.

918
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,771
It's my watch now.

919
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,690
It's my watch. It's my...

920
00:36:31,815 --> 00:36:33,817
Okay. Okay, fine.

921
00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,614
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

922
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:46,246
- Hey! Honey!
- Hey!

923
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,956
What are you doing in the lobby

924
00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:50,834
20 minutes before the show
fighting with a Sikh?

925
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:53,670
I-I-I, it's too long a story.
I got to get out of here, honey.

926
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:54,879
I can't talk now.
I'm so sorry.

927
00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:57,424
Okay. Okay.
Happy anniversary.

928
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,259
- Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.

929
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,135
And how did it go?

930
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:03,179
How did the, uh, anniversary gift go?

931
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:04,889
Did you cash in?

932
00:37:05,014 --> 00:37:06,766
- Oh.
- Alas, I did not.

933
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,268
It didn't happen?

934
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:10,395
But I'll still have an
hour after the show ends.

935
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,980
- Okay. Yeah.
- So don't count me out yet.

936
00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:13,189
No, no, no.
You still have an hour.

937
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,567
Okay.
You should get going.

938
00:37:23,658 --> 00:37:25,285
Good luck.

939
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,498
I got to go.

940
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:41,760
- Hey.
- Hey.

941
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:47,891
What are you...

942
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:48,975
Are you kidding?

943
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,059
Huh?
Look a little familiar?

944
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,978
Give me. Give me.
Where did you...?

945
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,605
How? What happened?

946
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:55,940
One of the maintenance guys
from the hotel had it on.

947
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,734
Out in the lobby.
I had to wrestle him for it.

948
00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:00,652
Ah, thank you.
Thank you.

949
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:03,989
I'm sorry about, uh, I mean,
maybe I went a little, uh--

950
00:38:04,114 --> 00:38:06,159
Well, I went too.
I'm sorry too.

951
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,827
Well...

952
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:09,536
Hey, break a leg.

953
00:38:09,661 --> 00:38:11,456
You too, man.

954
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:16,920
Hey, let me ask you something.

955
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,421
All water under the bridge, right?

956
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:20,422
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

957
00:38:20,547 --> 00:38:22,675
Just for my own edification...

958
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,469
What did you say to that stewardess?

959
00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:30,892
Just... did you tell her about
the seat not being upright?

960
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,685
What?

961
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:35,355
You're really something.

962
00:38:52,956 --> 00:38:55,041
Oh, no.

963
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,960
Oh, no, no. I can't...

964
00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,214
S-T-U-N-N-E-D!

965
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,883
Stunned!
You guys are terrific.

966
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:04,968
- You look great.
- Oh.

967
00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:06,678
You look like Bialystock

968
00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:07,887
and you look like Bloom.

969
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:10,139
- What's your first line?
- Uh...

970
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,431
"The reviews come out a lot faster

971
00:39:11,558 --> 00:39:12,767
when the critics leave at intermission."

972
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:14,102
- Perfect!
- Okay.

973
00:39:14,227 --> 00:39:15,603
And your first when you
come in and he scares you?

974
00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,689
Yeah, uh, "Scared. Can't talk."

975
00:39:17,814 --> 00:39:19,274
Perfect.
This is gonna be fabulous.

976
00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:22,068
- Thank you for everything.
- Break legs. Break everything.

977
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:24,487
O-V-E-R-T-U-R-E! Hear it?
Overture.

978
00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:26,155
- Here we go.
- Okay. Good luck.

979
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,574
- Don't break anything.
- Enjoy.

980
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:28,575
Great.

981
00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:46,301
♪ Opening night ♪

982
00:39:46,426 --> 00:39:50,096
♪ It's opening night ♪

983
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:56,268
♪ It's Max Bialystock's
latest show ♪

984
00:39:56,393 --> 00:39:59,355
♪ Will it flop,
or will it go? ♪

985
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,442
♪ The cast is taking
its final bow ♪

986
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,570
♪ Here comes the audience now ♪

987
00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:07,155
♪ The doors are open ♪

988
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,614
♪ They're on their way ♪

989
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:11,743
♪ Let's hear
what they have to say ♪

990
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:16,873
♪ He's done it again ♪

991
00:40:16,998 --> 00:40:18,373
♪ He's done it again ♪

992
00:40:18,498 --> 00:40:21,835
♪ Max Bialystock
has done it again ♪

993
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,756
♪ We can't believe it ♪

994
00:40:24,881 --> 00:40:27,967
♪ You can't conceive it ♪

995
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,762
♪ How'd he achieve it? ♪

996
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:34,641
♪ It's the worst show in town ♪

997
00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:37,393
♪ We sat there sighing ♪

998
00:40:37,518 --> 00:40:40,605
♪ Groaning and crying ♪

999
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:43,274
{\an8}♪ There's no denying ♪

1000
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:47,111
{\an8}♪ It's the worst show in town ♪

1001
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:50,073
♪ Oh we wanted
to stand up and hiss ♪

1002
00:40:50,198 --> 00:40:53,826
♪ We've seen shit
but never like this ♪

1003
00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:58,122
♪ Max Bialystock
has done it again ♪

1004
00:40:58,247 --> 00:40:59,791
♪ The songs were rotten ♪

1005
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,584
♪ The book was stinkin' ♪

1006
00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:05,088
♪ What he did to Shakespeare,
Booth did to Lincoln ♪

1007
00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:07,465
We have these 'specially made up

1008
00:41:07,590 --> 00:41:10,134
for Max Bialystock.

1009
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:14,889
♪ We couldn't
leave faster ♪

1010
00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:18,267
♪ What a disaster ♪

1011
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:21,020
♪ We are still in shock ♪

1012
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:24,148
♪ Who produced this schlock? ♪

1013
00:41:24,273 --> 00:41:26,484
♪ That slimy sleazy ♪

1014
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:29,904
♪ Max Bialystock ♪♪

1015
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:32,364
What a bum!

1016
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,127
The reviews come out a lot faster

1017
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,295
when the critics leave at intermission.

1018
00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:50,508
"By the end of "Funny Boy"

1019
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:54,512
"Max Bialystock's hopeless
new musical of Hamlet

1020
00:41:54,637 --> 00:41:57,348
"everybody is dead.

1021
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:59,434
They were the lucky ones."

1022
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:04,439
And this is the best review we got!

1023
00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:11,112
♪ I used to be the king ♪

1024
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:12,572
The king!

1025
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:15,283
♪ The king of old Broadway ♪

1026
00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:17,452
It's good to be the king.

1027
00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:23,332
♪ My praises they would sing ♪

1028
00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:27,295
♪ A Ziegfeld so they'd say ♪

1029
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:33,468
♪ My shows were always
filled with class ♪

1030
00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:35,762
♪ The best champagne
would fill my glass ♪

1031
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,805
♪ My lap was filled
with gorgeous ass ♪

1032
00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,891
♪ You couldn't call me
crass in any way ♪

1033
00:42:40,016 --> 00:42:41,059
♪ We believe you ♪

1034
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,768
♪ Thousands wouldn't ♪

1035
00:42:42,893 --> 00:42:44,187
♪ We believe you ♪

1036
00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:45,563
♪ Every word ♪

1037
00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:47,565
♪ We believe you ♪

1038
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:49,067
♪ Thousands couldn't ♪

1039
00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:53,321
♪ We believe each word
we've heard ♪

1040
00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:54,989
Such reviews.

1041
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:57,992
How dare they insult me in this manner?

1042
00:42:58,117 --> 00:42:59,952
How quickly they forget.

1043
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:02,080
I am Max Bialystock!

1044
00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:04,082
The first producer ever

1045
00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:06,000
to do summer stock in the winter!

1046
00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:08,294
♪ Once he was a king ♪

1047
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:11,005
You've all heard of
theater in the round?

1048
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,090
You're looking at the man

1049
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,133
who invented theater in the square.

1050
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,052
Nobody had a good seat!

1051
00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:18,638
♪ King of old Broadway ♪

1052
00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:22,141
I spent my entire life in the theater.

1053
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:23,351
I was a protege

1054
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:25,561
of the great
Boris Thomas chef sky.

1055
00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:31,359
Yes, he taught me everything I know.

1056
00:43:31,484 --> 00:43:33,277
I'll never forget.

1057
00:43:33,402 --> 00:43:35,738
He turned to me on his deathbed

1058
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,949
and said, "Maxella..."

1059
00:43:45,081 --> 00:43:46,958
What does that mean?

1060
00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:49,418
I don't know.
I don't speak Yiddish.

1061
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,255
Strangely enough, neither did he.

1062
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:56,008
In my heart,
I knew what he was saying.

1063
00:43:56,134 --> 00:43:58,594
He was saying when you're down and out

1064
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,805
and everybody thinks you're finished,

1065
00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:03,933
that's the time to stand on
your two feet and shout

1066
00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:06,768
"Who do you got to fuck to
get a break in this town?"

1067
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:22,368
Hey!

1068
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:23,411
<i>Hey!</i>

1069
00:44:23,536 --> 00:44:24,911
♪ Fame is in my sights again ♪

1070
00:44:25,036 --> 00:44:26,664
♪ I'll take
those fancy flights again ♪

1071
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:30,543
♪ I'm gonna scale
the heights again ♪

1072
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:34,297
♪ Bialystock will never drop ♪

1073
00:44:34,422 --> 00:44:37,466
♪ Bialystock will never stop ♪

1074
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:42,722
♪ Bialystock will be
on top again ♪

1075
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:44,056
♪ Fame is in his sights again ♪

1076
00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:45,892
♪ He'll take
those fancy flights again ♪

1077
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:47,685
♪ He's gonna scale
the heights again ♪

1078
00:44:47,810 --> 00:44:49,854
♪ He'll be on top again ♪

1079
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:51,063
Hey!

1080
00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:05,828
Hello?

1081
00:45:11,167 --> 00:45:12,793
Anybody here?

1082
00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,630
Mr. Bialystock?

1083
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,297
- Ahh!
- Huh!

1084
00:45:17,422 --> 00:45:18,424
Who are you?

1085
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:19,842
What do you want?

1086
00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:21,469
What are you doing here?

1087
00:45:21,594 --> 00:45:22,887
Speak to me, dummy.

1088
00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:24,222
Speak!

1089
00:45:24,347 --> 00:45:25,681
Why don't you speak?

1090
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:27,516
Scared. Can't talk.

1091
00:45:29,768 --> 00:45:30,978
Alright.
Calm down.

1092
00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,897
Relax.
Get a hold of yourself.

1093
00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:35,900
Take a deep breath.

1094
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:42,907
Who are you?

1095
00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:45,117
I'm Leopold Bloom.
I'm an accountant.

1096
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,327
I'm from Whitehall and Marks.

1097
00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:48,704
I've come here to do your books.

1098
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:51,082
Oh, you have, have you?

1099
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,087
Now, let's see.

1100
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:57,588
If we add these deductions

1101
00:45:57,713 --> 00:46:00,299
we get, uh...

1102
00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:02,551
Oh, it's absolutely amazing

1103
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:04,512
but under the right circumstances

1104
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:07,515
a producer could make
more money with a flop

1105
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,183
than he could with a hit.

1106
00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,354
Yes it's quite possible.

1107
00:46:13,479 --> 00:46:16,065
If he were certain that
the show would fail

1108
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:18,693
a man could make a fortune!

1109
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:19,902
Yes?

1110
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,822
- Yes what?
- What you were saying?

1111
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,949
- Keep talking.
- What was I saying?

1112
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:28,661
You were saying that under
the right circumstances...

1113
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:38,504
You were saying...

1114
00:46:40,922 --> 00:46:44,593
That under the right circumstances...

1115
00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:50,599
[Bloom] <i>What was I saying?</i>

1116
00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:54,103
[Bialystock] That under the
right circumstances...

1117
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:58,024
Under the right circumstances...

1118
00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:00,484
...what?

1119
00:47:00,609 --> 00:47:02,945
That's the question.

1120
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,155
What?

1121
00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:13,998
Boy, you got a nice

1122
00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:15,666
healthy head of hair
there, you know that?

1123
00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:17,168
Look at that!

1124
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:18,753
<i>It's like a pelt!</i>

1125
00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:24,800
Uh, I didn't really get

1126
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:28,012
the good shave today, you know?

1127
00:47:28,137 --> 00:47:30,598
I don't know why.
I'm an excellent shaver.

1128
00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:33,351
Feel this cheek.
Bloom, feel that cheek.

1129
00:47:33,476 --> 00:47:36,771
<i>It's like a tush.
Is that not a tush?</i>

1130
00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:39,148
<i>I got a tushy cheek.</i>

1131
00:47:39,273 --> 00:47:40,983
- <i>Um, it's--</i>
- <i>Boy, oh, boy.</i>

1132
00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:43,319
[Bloom] Please, Mr. Bialystock.

1133
00:47:43,444 --> 00:47:44,695
Um...

1134
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,199
I've discovered that a man

1135
00:47:48,324 --> 00:47:49,909
<i>could make more money with a flop</i>

1136
00:47:50,034 --> 00:47:51,744
<i>than he could with a hit.
Does...</i>

1137
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:55,164
<i>Does that bring any scheme to mind?</i>

1138
00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,127
[Bialystock] <i>Yeah.</i>

1139
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,796
Ever play this game?

1140
00:48:01,921 --> 00:48:03,422
- <i>I'm sorry.</i>
- <i>I can kind of work--</i>

1141
00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:04,840
[Andy] <i>I'm sorry. You don't come
to the theater with a hat.</i>

1142
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:06,467
- Ever do that one?
- No.

1143
00:48:06,592 --> 00:48:08,427
[Andy] <i>You don't wear a
hat to the theater!</i>

1144
00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:09,929
- It's not a hat, sir.
- Take your hat off!

1145
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:11,764
- I won't take my turban off!
- I can't see what's...

1146
00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:12,848
- What I'm seeing.
- That is not my fault.

1147
00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:14,392
No, he gave me the tickets.

1148
00:48:14,517 --> 00:48:15,684
<i>You need to calm down and try to watch.</i>

1149
00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:17,478
No! No!
Oh, fine. You just watch!

1150
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:19,480
[Sanjay] <i>Everybody, ha-ha, okay,
hmm. I watch, you don't.</i>

1151
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:23,109
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is my cousin, Andy.

1152
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:24,860
It may come as no
surprise to you to learn

1153
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:27,863
that he is the product of incest.

1154
00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:30,908
Of course, among friends and relatives

1155
00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:33,702
Andy is known by his
affectionate nickname

1156
00:48:33,828 --> 00:48:36,956
the primary reason for anti-Semitism.

1157
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:40,835
Unfortunately,
I know from experience

1158
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,295
the only way we're gonna
get him to calm down

1159
00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:45,797
is to put a Swanson frozen
dinner on his lap.

1160
00:48:45,922 --> 00:48:47,216
Wait, let's go back.

1161
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:48,676
- Yeah, let's go.
- This is funny.

1162
00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:49,885
[Bialystock] <i>I know
he's quite partial to</i>

1163
00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:52,179
<i>the Salisbury steak.</i>

1164
00:48:52,304 --> 00:48:54,431
You know, there might be, uh, an upside

1165
00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:56,016
to this whole experience

1166
00:48:56,142 --> 00:48:57,143
because, uh, if any of you are

1167
00:48:57,268 --> 00:48:59,728
looking for an apartment in New York

1168
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:01,647
and I know they're very hard to find

1169
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,732
Andy is subletting his mouth.

1170
00:49:05,317 --> 00:49:07,152
There's a lot of room in there.

1171
00:49:07,277 --> 00:49:09,530
A lot of room.

1172
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:12,658
I know there was a Taliban
living in there, uh

1173
00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:15,786
but he left, and, uh, he's
now renting some space

1174
00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:17,036
under the Sikh's turban.

1175
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:23,169
But the turban, it has all kinds of

1176
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,254
practical applications.

1177
00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:28,174
It's a tourniquet.

1178
00:49:28,299 --> 00:49:30,843
It makes a lovely sash.

1179
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,678
Say you want to have an impromptu game

1180
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:34,263
of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

1181
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:35,473
You've got a blindfold.

1182
00:49:39,143 --> 00:49:40,895
Alright, what was I saying?

1183
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:42,521
What was I saying?

1184
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:48,736
What was I saying?

1185
00:49:52,031 --> 00:49:54,325
You were saying...

1186
00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:57,661
...that under the right circumstances

1187
00:49:57,786 --> 00:50:01,373
a producer could make more with a flop

1188
00:50:01,498 --> 00:50:02,833
than he could with a hit.

1189
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,251
- It's quite possible.
- Yes.

1190
00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:07,004
You keep saying that,
but you don't say how.

1191
00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:10,841
Well, it's simply a matter
of creative accounting.

1192
00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:14,053
Let's assume for a moment that
you are a dishonest man.

1193
00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:16,138
Assume away.

1194
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:22,393
Did you see
the look on their faces

1195
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,232
when Larry David forgot
every line he had?

1196
00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:27,983
He went up, up in smoke!

1197
00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:30,277
Oh, God, I'm so glad.
Oh, I'm so thankful.

1198
00:50:30,402 --> 00:50:33,197
Thank God that this damn
play is gonna be over.

1199
00:50:33,322 --> 00:50:34,198
We're gonna get our lives back.

1200
00:50:34,323 --> 00:50:35,991
He has freed us from the anchor,

1201
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,117
from the albatross of "The Producers..."

1202
00:50:37,243 --> 00:50:38,452
Right. Right.

1203
00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:39,703
Which has invaded our lives

1204
00:50:39,828 --> 00:50:42,248
every single minute, every
hour of every day!

1205
00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:44,458
- Trapping us!
- No more openings in Cleveland!

1206
00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:47,169
No more sleeping in dirty
beds in Pittsburgh!

1207
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:49,255
We're free!
Free at last!

1208
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:51,131
- I know.
- Isn't it wonderful?

1209
00:50:51,257 --> 00:50:53,842
How did you know that he
could ruin the show? How?

1210
00:50:53,968 --> 00:50:56,053
The minute
I laid eyes on him

1211
00:50:56,178 --> 00:50:57,638
I said, "This guy's a disaster.

1212
00:50:57,763 --> 00:50:59,556
"He's a living dis... he's a storm.

1213
00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:01,183
"He's like a storm that will destroy

1214
00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:02,685
everything in its path."

1215
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:04,895
I mean, he-he's got this gift.

1216
00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:06,772
Everything he touches, he dooms.

1217
00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:09,567
He's a little cyclone, a little tornado

1218
00:51:09,692 --> 00:51:10,985
destroying the St. James Theatre.

1219
00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:12,987
- I know.
- Any minute now...

1220
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:14,321
The show will be dead.

1221
00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:16,114
- Ha-ha!
- Here! A toast!

1222
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,659
To the death of "The Producers."

1223
00:51:18,784 --> 00:51:20,869
May it rest in peace.

1224
00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:25,666
Innkeeper!
innkeeper!

1225
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:28,252
Another round of drinks here!

1226
00:51:28,377 --> 00:51:29,628
As a matter of fact

1227
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:33,172
another round of drinks for
everybody in the place.

1228
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:36,093
<i>Here's to failure!</i>

1229
00:51:36,218 --> 00:51:37,886
Oh, thank you.

1230
00:51:38,012 --> 00:51:39,805
That's very kind of you.

1231
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:45,227
Partners, Leo.

1232
00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:46,812
All the way.

1233
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,815
And nothing or no one will
ever come between us.

1234
00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,275
Nothing or no one, Max!

1235
00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:53,485
Come in.

1236
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:58,489
Bialystock and Bloom?

1237
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:02,911
- What?
- Oh, excuse me.

1238
00:52:05,331 --> 00:52:07,123
Swedish.

1239
00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:11,253
Costing today?

1240
00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:13,464
Costing? Cost...

1241
00:52:13,589 --> 00:52:15,049
Cost-cost...

1242
00:52:15,174 --> 00:52:16,884
Oh. Casting!

1243
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:20,929
Um, no, I'm-I'm sorry, uh, miss.

1244
00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:22,264
T-there's no casting today.

1245
00:52:22,389 --> 00:52:23,931
Actually...

1246
00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:25,643
...there very well could
be casting today.

1247
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:27,268
Come in. Come in.

1248
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:32,775
Ah, fuck!

1249
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,193
♪ Honeymoon ♪

1250
00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:36,027
♪ Honeymoon honeymoon ♪

1251
00:52:36,152 --> 00:52:37,905
♪ Keep a-shining in June ♪

1252
00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:39,739
♪ Keep a-shining in June ♪

1253
00:52:39,864 --> 00:52:43,327
♪ Your silvery beams
will bring love dreams ♪

1254
00:52:43,452 --> 00:52:45,788
♪ We'll be cuddling soon ♪

1255
00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:47,289
♪ Ra ta-ta ta-ta ♪
♪ Take me out ♪

1256
00:52:47,414 --> 00:52:51,001
♪ By the silvery moon ♪

1257
00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:57,341
Funniest thing I ever...

1258
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:01,887
It's intermission.
Quick, hide your faces.

1259
00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:04,014
They'll tear us to pieces.

1260
00:53:08,893 --> 00:53:10,854
- I'll have a Manhattan.
- Two whiskey sours.

1261
00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:12,773
So far, this is about the funniest thing

1262
00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,065
I've seen on Broadway.

1263
00:53:14,190 --> 00:53:15,693
I've never laughed so hard in my life.

1264
00:53:15,818 --> 00:53:19,071
- Absolutely hysterical.
- I thought I'd split my sides.

1265
00:53:21,739 --> 00:53:22,908
Honey, don't panic.

1266
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:24,618
There are a lot of shows on this street.

1267
00:53:24,743 --> 00:53:25,828
They may not necessarily be talking

1268
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,663
about Larry David and "The Producers."

1269
00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:29,248
Who would have guessed
Larry David

1270
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:30,873
would be so hysterical?

1271
00:53:30,998 --> 00:53:32,167
Hey, let's get back.

1272
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:33,502
If he's as brilliant in the second act

1273
00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:34,920
as he is in the first, this show's

1274
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:36,588
gonna run for another five years!

1275
00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:43,762
Got to think.
I got to think.

1276
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:45,639
No way out.

1277
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:48,225
No way out.

1278
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,853
- No way out.
- Honey.

1279
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:52,438
- No way out.
- Listen.

1280
00:53:52,563 --> 00:53:54,481
- No way out.
- Honey, honey, listen.

1281
00:53:54,606 --> 00:53:57,067
This is-this is a small
portion of the audience.

1282
00:53:57,192 --> 00:54:00,446
Let's go back and see what
the majority has to say.

1283
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:01,905
- The majority?
- Yes.

1284
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:03,239
- Sure, let's go.
- The majority.

1285
00:54:03,364 --> 00:54:05,993
Come on. Let's hear from the majority.

1286
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:07,786
- Let's hear from the majority.
- The majority.

1287
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:10,456
Yes, we'll-we'll hear from the majority.

1288
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:19,922
- This is the majority?
- This is the majority.

1289
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,486
♪ Leo and Max ♪

1290
00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:42,404
♪ Up off our backs ♪

1291
00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:46,408
♪ Back on the great white way ♪

1292
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,202
♪ Leo and Max ♪

1293
00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:50,120
♪ Back on our tracks ♪

1294
00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:52,915
♪ We're back on top to stay ♪

1295
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:57,335
♪ So when we take your money
never fear ♪

1296
00:54:57,460 --> 00:55:00,964
♪ We'll knock Broadway
right on its ear ♪

1297
00:55:01,089 --> 00:55:03,050
♪ The cast is great
the script is swell ♪

1298
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:04,718
♪ But this
we're telling you sirs ♪

1299
00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,179
♪ It's just no go
you've got no show ♪

1300
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:10,224
♪ Without the producers ♪

1301
00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:15,354
♪ We'll never quit ♪

1302
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:18,732
♪ Hit after hit ♪

1303
00:55:28,617 --> 00:55:30,118
♪ You and me-o ♪

1304
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:31,954
♪ We guarantee-o ♪

1305
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:36,375
♪ You're looking
at Leo and Max ♪

1306
00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:41,380
♪ The producers ♪

1307
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:47,010
♪ Leo and Max ♪

1308
00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:53,475
♪ Ahh ♪♪